you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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