it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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