if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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