Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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