why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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