You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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