She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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