I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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