I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize