dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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