I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
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I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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