Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize