I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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