That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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