I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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