Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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