my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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