this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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