So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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