i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
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As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
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i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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