i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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