You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
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I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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