thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize