Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
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an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
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when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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