WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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