She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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