I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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