I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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