Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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