butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize