went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
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I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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