dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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