someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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