I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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