Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize