This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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