Non-Jews are for practice
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize