Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize