WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize