I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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