he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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