I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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