And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i've created a new STD.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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