how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
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Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
nutella sex= disaster
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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