His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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