I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize