Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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