woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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