Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize