I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize